That bloody headteacher!!

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I’m a mum, and back in May my little girl’s world started to fall apart.
She was in hospital after her second ever Asthma attack and really enjoyed being spoiled. A few days later we were home and she started to struggle with her breathing again so we went to A&E. We were there for a good few hours.At almost midnight the Nurse tried to give her medication and she refused saying “If I take the medicine I will have to go to school. I don’t want to go to school” She did take the medication eventually and over the next few days she started to talk about what had been going on at school. She did not feel safe there, she was being bullied and the teachers were not helping her. As a parent this is heartbreaking to hear. 

As we spoke to out doctor her wrote a note to school saying the bullying at school was causing her Asthma and the school needed to sort it out. We took copies of this not and sent to ofsted and the local council. She still refused to go to school and became agitated and wheezy when we spoke about school with her. As even the mention of school stressed her we started to think about homeschooling as at least she would be learning then. We were suprised to hear ofsted had called an surprise visit two days after we sent in the letter. We met with the acting head and chair of governors after the visit and they actually appologised for their failure in keeping my daughter safe.

I started to home school her as well as working part time. She was really emotional and actually depressed so doing any work with her was a challenge. We asked for help from the LEA but were refused as she was not seen as a priority. Over weeks she started to calm slowly and started to do some beautiful flower arrangements from our garden, read extensively and coloured, but did not want to put pen to paper. 

We visited a local home school group but the children and parents were decidedly odd. We paid for her to see a play therapist and we started to see glimpses of our girl again. She talked about missing friends and wanting to return to school. We put her name down for another school but had no idea if they would accept her or not. We visited the school with both my daughters and the head appeared so lovely and could not do enough to help.

After the holidays we realised both girls had school places, but in different schools! They both finished at the same time so we knew it would be tricky. We were told we were welcome to appeal so awaited and appeal date. I was reassured by staff it was a really simple process. I went along, prepared with a letter from our doctor.

 The meeting was horrific, both the head and county representative stated why there was no space for my youngest daughter to join her sister at the school. I was stunned! This was NOT a simple process. The head talked about the immense needs of the children in the school and as I am a trained Pediatric nurse the facts did not add up at all. When questioned they declined to comment. They also picked up on my kind GP’s letter.He had mentioned my previous Mental health issues (nine years before) They thought my Mental health issues had meant I got muddled with the application dates!!!!! The late application was due to the other failing school dragging their heels so not down to us. Dickheads!!! After the meeting we found out my youngest did not have a place. I took a disliking to the bloody head after that, surprisingly.

Fast forward a few months and ongoing family stresses not least the schools situation were taking their toll. My mental heath was deteriorating again. I started to try and get support from professionals but was told there was not any. I became more impulsive and had few inhibitions. I did not recognise myself and did some crazy things which I would not have dreamed of. My deteriorating mental health has severely affected the whole family. We now have a social worker 🙁

The head asked me to come in to fill her in on the situation. I naively told her it all including my crazy actions. Her mouth said she was not there to judge, her face and following words told a very different story. Stupid cow! I am unwell and my judgement is way out. Who the hell is she to judge me? I’ve now got to meet with her and other professionals and I despise how two faced she is but as a responsible mum I have to smile sweetly (SHIT)

How have teachers etc been with your family when you have mental health difficulties?

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