Open letter to my friends
I see it sometimes you look at me as if I have two heads. Yes, I have changed a lot but I’m still me. I even look different with my coloured hair and nose pierced., but I’m still the same person you have known for years.
Yes, I am much more sweary and loud and unpredictable. The sweary is one way of coping with all the crap going on. I’m sorry if my profanity offends you.
I notice that look in my direction but not approach me. You can’t bear my answer and others who ask how I am and I reply “Crap”, I see the dissapointment in your eyes. I wish I could try harder to get better but I simply can’t. I’m disappointed this crap is still ongoing too.
Kind ones of you send me encouraging Bible verses, I don’t have the heart to say I’m not even sure if I believe in God at the moment.
Some of you take the time to listen, to see beyond the crazy, out there, loud exterior I try to use to mask my daily battle to fight my demons and stay alive. You see the frustration and cry with me. For this I thank you so much.