Going through a mangle

I feel Like I’ve been through a mangle this week.

We had our social services professionals meeting. Ten of them and us. On assessment our children are having serious difficulties because of my poor mental health. Sitting in that meeting I think we mostly appeared professional and together. After the meeting I fell apart and still can’t quite get it back together. The fact they are so concerned about the kids fucks with my head. They have been referred to young carers and qualify for the highest level of support. Great for them but the fact our life is such a state fucks with my head. I’ve been fighting to get myself some support since January and it’s not until it reaches crisis point anyone listened…

My hubby was training and this week they told him he needs to get his act together or leave the course. The bastards had said they would be supportive but the reality is nothing like. He can’t stay sane with all the stress at work and home so…. he has handed in his notice.

My thoughts of suicide and self harm are through the roof at the moment. I know it would totally fuck up the family but my head is such a mess and I want to shut it up… What is best for us all and my own ways of coping are so different.. FUCK Walking down the road I have to stop myself stepping in front of cars. It’s scary. I just feel so overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do about it.

I’m sat in the drs surgery. Not sure what they can do to help but need to try something..

Spoke to my most lovely doctor. She helped me get my thoughts in order and come back down to earth. I can go on for a few more days at least.

6 thoughts on “Going through a mangle

  • May 5th, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    Having Mental health issues is so terrible and not to be taken lightly an i am praying for you an the family, and to get the help you need ! I lost my younger sister to this disease 3 yrs ago and left her 3 kids behind so tragic , miss her so much. Please take care of youself, you really matter ! God has a plan for you belive it !

    • May 8th, 2017 at 8:44 am

      Kerry you are so lovely. We studied Psalm 139 in church yesterday. Really fucked with my head. God was there he saw all the abuse that went on and did nothing or sent no one to help. Hurts so much.

    • October 3rd, 2017 at 1:26 pm

      Sorry to hear that Kerry. Sending hugs x

  • July 27th, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    Dear Mumsy- if I may call you that-

    I did tell you Cimmy and I are going through very similar struggles, right? We are buried in red tape, mostly for our son with autism- including fighting the state for his therapy, Children’s Administration (they include child protective services, but more) wanting us to do programs that we haven’t fully plugged into just yet, and… I have to go to court- a very long story I won’t describe here.

    I can relate. I feel for you. I too wish they’d just go away!

  • August 31st, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    Big hugs – you know where I am if you need to bend my earhole. xx

    • August 31st, 2017 at 7:27 pm

      Thanks love. Very kind of you x

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